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I am quite nervous about the result of the DNA test and I do what I usually do whenever I am nervous – get a steamy cup of coffee.

So I find my way to my favorite coffee shop on the Island, park outside the premises and lock my car with a remote as I dodge the drizzling rain and make it to the curb in time.

A few girls glance my way and I nod at the ones who won’t keep staring.

When you have been commanding attention for a long time, it doesn’t make you feel any different anymore.

I make my way to the front of the Counter in the coffee shop, a Fela classic is playing quietly from the speakers and I find myself nodding to it as I wait for my Latte to get ready.

“We haven’t seen you in a while” the pretty chocolate skinned Waiter attending to me says with a smile.

“Been busy” I respond.

Her dimples deepen when she smiles and if I wasn’t so nervous about the test awaiting me at the Hospital and the cranky baby mama I am sure is fuming at the moment, I would have flirted with her a little.

“We would like to see more of you” she says with a toothy grin and I nod as I take the Latte for her and hand her my Card for payment.

Once she is done deducting the money for the coffee, she hands me my receipt. “Have a nice day, Dorothy” I say to her and march out of the shop.

A million and one things run through my mind as I take a sip of the hot liquid. It scalds my tongue but I realize what I am more bothered about is the result waiting for me in the Hospital.

A light skinned girl passes by and I am almost certain it is Sarah.

Sarah.

I haven’t spoken to her in days but I know better than to reach out to her.

I don’t want her involved in all the mess going on in my life right now and I am wary of the constant feeling of wanting her around me.

I want her badly but at the same time, I know better than to give in to this feeling.

I am not about to take chances and have her fall for me or worse, start falling for her.

I honk as a warning for a vehicle reversing in front of me as I arrive at a Traffic light.

It takes a lot of effort not to call her and find out how she is doing. I want to know what is going on with her, how she is handling her family and everything really but I cannot do that now.

Or maybe I can, I just don’t want to.

My phone rings, it’s Cynthia.

“Please where are you? Are you not supposed to be here already?”

“Calm down, I’m almost there” I reply as I drive past the Traffic light, heading for the Hospital junction.

“You’re thirty minutes late are you…”

I cut her off and toss the phone on the passenger’s seat near me. She must be high on some medication if she thinks I will stay on the phone and listen to her rant about nothing.

Turning into the barely tarred road that leads to the Hospital, I swig the coffee near me again.

As I wait for the security guard at the Hospital gates to let me in, I hold my breath and wait for the news that could change my life forever.

“My life would be changed forever…” I pause, gaze at my reflection in the mirror and swallow hard.

I try again, “If I commit to this, my life would never remain the same” I sigh. Maybe I have to find a more reasonable reason.

Or something that will be more convincing.

I try to let my mind wander, maybe then I will find myself a better reason for not wanting to be with Scott.

I pat my flowing floral kimono and adjust the thin strapped mini body hugging dress I am wearing under.

My makeup is minimal this morning and my winged liner is the only popping thing about my face. Even my lipstick has been replaced by a colorless lipgloss and my hair is faux locs I have swept off my face in a loose bun.

Scott is getting ready in his bedroom but I know the moment the door to this room opens and he strolls in, he will want the answer to his question.

Will you be my girlfriend?

Woman?

Lady?

I still remember the chuckle and how beautiful his handsome face became when he added, “Anything you want me to call it really?”

I looked away and told him I needed a few days when he asked.

I still don’t have his answer but I am certain he will ask for it now.

I slip my recently pedicured feet into the pair of recently purchased gold Zara Sandals he gave me just yesterday. Grabbing my DVB perfume, I wear the amazing scent and wait for him at the edge of the bed.

Being Scott’s woman, lady, girlfriend… anything really would be rocky at first.

His soon to be ex-wife is bitter as I hear and there’s no way going public will feel like Christmas. But at the same time, Scott is good to me. And I like him. He’s amazing, basically every woman’s fantasy and goodness, can he fuck.

The door opens and he peeps in.

He is dressed in a grey cotton sweatshirt that has his initials embedded on the chest and a pair of blue jeans.

My eyes fall on the brogues he is wearing, determined to keep myself from looking into his eyes.

“I love the sandals on your feet, they suit you perfectly”

I nod.

“Shall we?”

I look around the room for my purse. “You know, maybe we shouldn’t be leaving for work together”

“why not? I am not hiding anything” he says as I grab the medium sized purse with the gold chain

“No. but I don’t want trouble”

When I make it to the door he raises my chin with his hand so I look into his eyes.

“Why would I let anyone trouble you?”

“See Scott, this is not going to be easy. You think the public won’t think I ruined your marriage…”

“Who cares what the Public think?”

“Me!”

He pauses, looks long and hard at me. “You really don’t want to do this, do you?”

I try to be calm, “Scott, we started this as casual sex. You have to understand that it is not easy adjusting to the new arrangement”

“An arrangement you haven’t even accepted”

I remove his hand from my face “Because I don’t know if it is what I want”

“Why not? You like me”

Yeah, I do. But since when has that been enough?

“I make you happy”

My eyes drop to the sandals on my feet… yeah those babies are proof.

“Sarah, I will understand if this isn’t what you want but please, consider how happy I will make you and how this wasn’t even what I wanted at first”

“I know…”

“I am in love with you” I raise my head sharply, he nods. “I really am. And I want you. Please, want me back”

I manage a smile as he turns his back and heads out of the room.

I want to want him back. But wanting to want is something, wanting is another thing.

“The baby is yours 100% AKT”

I smile, nod and make for the door.

“AKT”

I turn around and face Ese

“I know how hard this must be but don’t be harsh on yourself” she says to me with a warm smile. “Please”

I shrug, “Thanks Ese”

I go in search of Cynthia, she is waiting for me at the Reception.

“Let’s go” I say to her and she follows me out of the Hospital. When we step outside, I tell her I will drop her at home.

I discharge the Driver and she hops into a seat near me.

“So now that we are having a child together for real, what do you want?”

She frowns at me, I see from the corner of my eyes.

“What do you mean what do I want?” she asks

“Well, you got pregnant for a purpose”

“Yeah, because you slept with me”

“Cut the ridiculousness, Cynthia. You found me out and double crossed your Cousin because you wanted something. It’s fine, I have gotten past the situation. Now tell me, what is it that you want?”

She doesn’t say anything for a few seconds so I continue, “Commitment, security, loads of money… say it. You will have it”

I glance at her and I find her looking through the glass out of the car. She either heard me or she is ignoring me.

I let it sink in before I add, “I will take it that you want to think about it. You have 48 hours. Buzz me when you are ready”

When we get to her House I say, “And remember, when you get what you want, all the rudeness and nastiness has to cease. I intend to see that happen.”

She shuts the door and leaves but I am certain she understands what I mean.

“The baby is yours for real? Oh shit” Kaycee says to me from the other end of the line. “I just wish the other is yours too”

“Ode”

She laughs out loud from the other end of the line and I am about to ask if she’s being tickled when I hear Steve’s voice. “Tell that one to get off the phone abeg. We need to make love”

I chuckle when I hear that “Hoes” I say

“You too. We love youuu” Kaycee says as she moans Steve’s name “And happy father’s day in advance”

“It has passed”

“Ehn, I am telling you for next year”

She giggles as I tell her “Fuck you” and ends the call.

They are so cute and I wonder vaguely if there is a remote chance that can be me again.

I banish the thought as I alight from my car and go in search of what I have been craving all day – Chinese food.

Scott loves Chinese and so do I. Well at least, I love the ones I can identify the major ingredient and not those that seem foreign to me.

There is this new Chinese place that just opened somewhere not too far from Oge and we both came here for Lunch.

I love the ambience – soft Nina Simone music playing, dimly lit and it smells divine.

We take our seat in a booth somewhere not too far from the entrance and chat about the upcoming collaboration Oge has with another fashion house.

Scott thinks their designs are basic and backward. I think it’s just what we need.

Oge tends to get edgy with designs, their simple designs will fit in perfectly for consumers.

“Too basic will kill our design” I chuckle as our food arrives. The broth smells delicious and the rice that came for me makes me hungrier.

Scott scoops a spoon from the broth and I grab a paper napkin and help him clean off the stain it leaves on the corner of his mouth.

Suddenly, I feel like I am being watched and I see AKT standing not too far away, dressed in a silk leopard print shirt and navy blue pants. The shirt has a few buttons loose and his chest becomes an instant distraction, especially since I know my hands have roamed that chest during sex before.

I swallow hard as my eyes take in the brown leather shoes on his feet.

We lock gazes and I eventually look away, thankful that Scott didn’t see me.

AKT saunters to our table, he shakes hands with Scott. “Hi Scott, how is it going?” he asks

“Great, man. How you dey?”

They exchange pleasantries and I look away, unwilling to be involved in the greetings.

“So how is the wife?” AKT asks and I shut my eyes tightly.

What the heck is he doing?

Scott is silent for a very long time before he says “The divorce proceedings are underway. I thought you knew? Y’all are pretty close from what I gather”

Of course AKT is close friends with Scott’s wife.

What the heck is he doing talking about a marriage he knows is over?

“Oh… my apologies. Last I heard she was pregnant. I thought that was going to change the direction of things. Anyway, have fun. Nice seeing you, Sarah” AKT says and walks away.

I look at Scott in shock after AKT has left our table.

“Your wife is pregnant?” I gasp

“Yes but…”

“But what? You were…” I try to keep my voice low but I cannot so I stand and grab my purse.

He follows me immediately. When we get outside, he says “I can explain”

“You sound ridiculous. There is nothing to explain about how you knocked your wife up”

“Sarah, please…”

I push him away and scout the area for a Cab.

“Sarah!”

But I ignore him as I stroll down the road, flagging down the first yellow cab I see.

 

 

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