Friendzone HQ

He did get a call as he had expected sometime around midnight, except the call was not from whom he had expected it to be.

He frowned as he swiped his thumb across the screen to answer the call, “Yes?”

The gasp from her told him she was clearly shocked at his cold response to her call, “What is yes?” she asked and before he could explain that he was just disappointed she was not Oyin, she added, “Are you out of your fucking mind? Since when did you speak to me like that?”

“Calm down joo” he said gently, “I’m sorry. I did not mean to sound like that, I was just hoping you were Oyin. Wassup?”

“I need to see you like right now”

Reflexively, he removed his phone from his ear for a second and checked the time, it was 12:02am.

“Vanessa, it’s late. Let us do that tomorrow”

“When she’d have probably spread her legs for him like butter and be pregnant with his first child?!” she sounded enraged, “Hell no. Meet me at Segun’s, right now.”

When she would have spread her legs for him like butter… when she would have spread…

It suddenly hit him hard.

What the… Hell No!

He should have known!

When he had seen Shahid leaving hers earlier, it was not because she remembered she had a boyfriend and had zero interest in Shahid, it was because she was hosting Segun in her freaking apartment.

He wished he had not made that U-turn. He wished he had driven to the house and burst in through her front door.

So he had trailed them all the way only to have been blindsided by Segun?

He could almost feel his blood level surge through as he hurriedly slipped into his jeans and the T shirt he could find closest to him.

Damn it!

What was he going to do about that girl? Couldn’t she see she was the only person he wanted, the only person he had felt that way about in his adult life?

What did a man have to do to make his woman have sense and see that she was doing the wrong thing by constantly hooking up with other people behind him?

And why did he have to go and visit Vanessa when he could just go there and talk sense into her head?

Irritated with Oyin for the thousandth time since they became a couple, he slid his feet into his leather slippers, grabbed his keys and prepared to drive all the way to her apartment.

Tonight was the night he was going to finally put an end to all of the drama.

Oyin snuggled Segun, a smirk on her face.

“Ehen” he shook his head and smiled, “I have told you not yet”

She pouted, “Come on Segun, I will not think less of you if you actually give in to my sexiness and make love to me”

He chuckled, “Look at this one o. Sorry, I can control myself”

She hit him playfully, “Go joo”

For the third time that night, he drew in her lower lip and kissed her gently. “Trust me, I have had plans for you for a while now but I honestly want this to mean something when it happens”

“I know. I just don’t understand how you went from seemingly lusting so bad to this”

“Well, it’s called falling for you” he kissed the tip of her nose, “Deal with it horny woman”

She laughed. “So what did she say?”

“Who? Vanessa? Nothing. She looked like she would cry but honestly, I can’t be bothered. Plus I am strongly convinced that she is hiding something. If not that, she is up to something. Gina’s sudden appearance cannot be coincidental. Vanessa has the most conniving mind I have seen off Television.”

“I know this is probably a bitchy thing to say but I never thought she was good for you. I mean, even Ada was clearly a better option.”

She vaguely wondered what Ada would say when she found out she was now officially with Segun. And as much as she wanted to be with him, she was worried Ada would think she had been right all along.

“Ada thought I was sleeping with you, you know. I think Vanessa told her that and now, if she hears about us…” she was voicing her fear because no matter what, she still considered Ada a friend.

Segun held her tighter, “Whatever happens, we’d go through this together.”

And that somehow made her feel lighter.

The fact that she would have him even when Ada was not going to like being friends with her anymore made her feel extremely better.

Her phone vibrated on the stool near her and she rose to pick it, “It’s weird anyone would be calling this late” she said as she stretched her hand to reach for it.

“Maybe it’s from the Hospital?”

She shook her head, “That never happens. I mean, there is a reason we work shifts” when she found who the caller was, she knew something was up. “It’s Kolapo” she said

“Why would he be calling this late?” Segun asked

“I honestly don’t know. He was trailing Shahid and I when he was bringing me home earlier and that one was pissed sef. Surprised he did not come here to confront me as to why I left with Shahid”

“Oyin, that guy scares me”

Her phone had stopped ringing, “Why?”

“He’s clearly obsessed with you and that is not healthy. I think he thinks he loves you but this cannot be love.”

She chuckled, “You’re making him seem crazy”

“Oyin” he called, his face was serious, stern maybe even. “I honestly think he may be”

The loud bang on her door startled her. “Who is that?” she asked

“Your boyfriend. Now open this door!”

Segun looked at her, “I told you”

Oyin slowly made for the door; the journey between her couch to the entrance of her house short enough to get her to open in seconds but long enough for her to make a decision about Kolapo. The relationship was done for real this time.

She opened the door and he burst in, his eyes darting from Oyin to Segun who was standing now, clearly alert.

“God, Kolapo it is past midnight. Do you realize I have neighbors?”

He was angry, clearly, his voice was a clear indication of that “Since we are talking about the topic of realization, do you realize I am your boyfriend? That you’re in a relationship and you shouldn’t be hibernating with predators?”

“I am not hibernating and he is not a predator”

Kolapo scoffed, “Oh, so what is he then?”

“Please go home, KP.”

“Again, you disrespect me in front of this person? No Oyin, I am done with your disrespect and disregard”

“Then let’s end this. I am tired. I am done”

He was horrified when he heard utter the words, “You’re joking” he muttered

She folded her arms across her chest, “I am not. I’m breaking up for real.” She nodded towards the door, “Bye”


“Goodnight Kolapo”

Vanessa was tired of calling Kolapo, it was the fifth time that morning and as usual, he was not picking.

And because she was tired of waiting for her to come through, she got into Gina’s rented car and drove all the way to the Hospital where he worked to find him.

He looked like he had not slept all night when she found him staring at a cup of coffee in the Hospital Cafeteria minutes later.  She pulled out a plastic chair, dumped her bag on the table and faced him.

“Is there a reason you’ve not been picking up?”

“What is it you have to say, Vanessa? I am not in the mood for your rant this morning”

Fair enough. He looked like he had been run over by a Bus anyway so she was going to spare him.

She went straight to the point, “Oyin and Segun are getting together”

“They are already together” he said matter-of-factly.

Her heart sank, all her plans had somehow backfired. “We have to do something”

He shrugged, for the first time he was not psyched about that.

The night before, Oyin had been harsher than harmattan. She had told him in front of Segun that his insecurities were overwhelming and she could not be with someone like him.

He was still hurting, he was probably going to hurt for the rest of the year and right now, he wanted to be far away from anything Oyin as much as possible.

“Not interested” he said and stood, Vanessa gasped.


“You want to know what else I am not interested in? You and your stupid plans”

She stood immediately, “This baby is yours. You have to be interested!”

He stared at her blank faced, the stupid bitch had gotten pregnant for him like he had feared.

He grabbed her phone and punched in a number, “That’s Kamal. He specializes in D&C and he is extremely good. Get that thing out. Goodbye”

Then he strolled out.

Vanessa buried her head in her palms and cried. There was no way in the world things were going this way.

She was not going to walk away until she gave it one last fight.

And this time, she was determined to win.

She grabbed her phone and called her sister, “Gina”

“Nessa, you okay?”

“No” fresh tears were making their way down her face.

“What’s going on Nessa? Speak to me”

“Segun is gone completely and the baby… oh my days, Gina this is bad”

“You need to calm down and speak to me”

“I just want him back. And I will do anything, G. Anything.”

Gina sighed, “Anything you say?”


“Wanna try Aunty Tobi’s way?”

As little girls, they had given their mother’s only sister’s approach to taking care of extremely difficult situations a name and it had simply being “Aunty Tobi’s way”.

Aunty Tobi attended one of those Churches where they used spiritual means to forcefully get things going their way and it had helped their mother get their father back after that one had strayed for four years, taking their mother’s inheritance with him.

And now that she was pregnant when she’d had zero chances of ever conceiving a child and things were about to go south, she knew she had to do something. She was that desperate.

So yeah, she was down for Aunty Tobi’s way.


“Yes Gina. I want to try Aunty Tobi’s way”