Hey guys, howdy? It’s quite windy here in my neighborhood in Agungi and it looks like it wants to rain. Can’t wait for it to actually pour so I can have an excuse to make coffee, get under the covers, work a little more and then catch up on Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder.

Meanwhile, for new followers/readers here (who only just learnt about this place from 360nobs), please subscribe to the blog. That way, you get to have notifications on every single blog post when it goes up.


Friendzone HQ 2

She was wearing a flimsy excuse of a night gown, the sheer lace material of the gown revealing a lot of skin while it barely covered her ass.

Oyin found it distracting and annoying that she had chosen not to wear panties under the night gown and that she had chosen to sit right opposite her in the sitting room while she took it upon herself to dish out advice and soothing words.

The latter had come out of her mouth actually, “Let me give you soothing words” she had said as she slumped into the chair opposite her, prepared to singlehandedly conquer Oyin’s demons.

“Mariam please go and wear pant abeg. What is all these?” She said after Mariam had finished giving her an advice on how to heal and pick one of the men in her life.

“I will after we have finished talking”

“We have finished talking” she insisted, dragging her gaze to her vibrating phone. It was Segun calling her and again, she was refusing his calls. She did not want to speak to him, not yet anyway. She stood and grabbed her bag, which was lying next to her. “I’m going to the Mall, I need to pick up some things”

Mariam was right after her in seconds, “Let me come with you”

Oyin eyed her, “In that mosquito net you’re wearing?”

“You’ll wait now, I will go and change”

Oyin rolled her eyes. She was fond of Mariam, they had bonded right from the very minute her cousin had introduced them years before but Mariam was also sometimes a pain in the ass. Like that morning, when she had taken it upon herself to help Oyin feel better about her current predicament.

“No joo. I don’t need company”

“Why? You’re not even mentally fit”

“I am mentally fit. Because you took one course in Psychology while you were in School does not qualify you as a Therapsist abeg”

Mariam snatched her keys from her and made for the room, “Story” she said as she disappeared through the door to Oyin’s bedroom. Oyin sighed and shook her head, there was no way she was getting rid of this her cousin’s girlfriend.


She had been picking a pack of grapes when she sensed someone staring at her. And, she had instantly looked up and seen him, watching from a distance as if scared to move closer.

She managed a smile and then, a wave but she might have as well have been invincible because he looked away from her that moment.

“That’s Shahid” She said to Mariam who was complaining about how Shoprite fruits looked like they were not grown for Nigerians.

“Oh my goodness, he is fine. No wonder you did not stand a chance”

“I wish I could give him what he wants” and she honestly wished she could. She knew he loved her and she wanted to feel the exact same way but somehow, it just did not seem to work.

Mariam placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and massaged it slowly, “Trust me, you will feel better eventually. Just hang in there”

Her phone buzzed again and this time, she picked it.


His voice was all she needed to hear on the phone for her heart to start racing. She had missed him. She had missed talking to him, missed hearing his voice and missed holding him.


“This is what we are now? Strangers who call each other by names and don’t have anything else to say?” he sounded angry and she honestly did not blame him. Actually, if she were him, she would have stopped trying a long time ago.


There was something about a Buka that was not in an elite neighborhood on the mainland or Island or whatever land in Lagos; it was raw, real and a reality check. It had been a while Oyin had been in a place like that but when he had insisted on taking her out for pounded yam, she had obliged.

It was the best pounded yam on the Island and the second best in the whole of Lagos. And she did not even want to get started on their ability to cook Egusi so well, they might have created the formula for making the legendary soup.

“When I left Ife, I was so sure I was not going to get Pounded Yam this good anywhere in Lagos” he smiled as they both drew out stainless plates with deep insides in the crowded area where they were waiting to be served by three different women, each sitting in front of the food she was dishing out. “Then I found this place courtesy of Kazeem” he smiled through the rest of the statement, “I can’t even lie, the food here is everything”

She smiled, it was all she had been able to do since she agreed to this outing or date or whatever he was calling it at the moment.

When they had left the Hospital, he had said it was an “outing”. Then on their way, while they waited for the Traffic light to turn green at a junction, he had referred to it as a “date”.

“Have you ever had it?” he asked, and she knew he wanted her to not just answer his question but to also make conversation.

She shook her head, it was the only form of response she was willing to give.

“Oya o” One of the women serving said impatiently. Oyin had always wondered what it was with women who sold food and the nasty attitude they wore like a colorful shirt.

They always seemed angry, impatient and definitely not about the food life. And so she wondered why they worked there if it was such a bad idea. They could have as well sat in their houses and refused to show up there.

“Pounded yam…” she began to say and the woman cocked an eyebrow as if to say ‘can you see anything else here’. Oyin chose to ignore her and her nasty attitude. If she was going to be riled up, it was not going to be by an ugly woman who the only thing uglier than her face was the attitude she was wearing.

“Pounded yam, one hundred naira” and so she watched as the woman attended to her and Kolapo and after they were served steamy egusi with goat meat drenched in the hot soup, they found themselves a seat far away from everyone else.

Oyin liked that.

She liked the anonymity that came with sitting in a secluded corner in a crowded Buka and being invincible to the rest of the people who had come to eat.

She stretched her hand, reaching for the bowl containing the washing water and he quickly handed it to her. She smiled, watching as he helped her pour water on her hand as she rinsed it.

He was waiting on  her, doing everything for her, even offering toothpick before she ate the goat meat she was hundred percent certain was not stiff.

“KP, you don’t have to do all these” she said, her attention fixed on the food in front of her.

“But I want to” then he added gently, “because I am really sorry for everything that happened”

“I know. You have apologized many times”

“So why has nothing changed? Why did you go and get engaged to someone else? What… did I become a Monster to you after that night?” he held her with his clean hand, “Baby, I am your man. Or at least, I used to be your man. How do we go from being in a relationship to you wearing another man’s ring in a short period? How?”

She shook her head, her fingers fishing for more stock fish in the bowl of soup in front of her. “I don’t know”

He paused, his eyes holding hers and then, slowly he said, “I have an Aunt”

She found one more stock fish, her hand lifting it to her mouth, she listened to him.

“I have not seen her in ages but I am sure she would not mind seeing you”

She frowned, “I don’t understand”

“You need therapy, babe. And I am going to take you to a Professional”

She was not sure why she laughed that hard or for that long either, she just knew she kept laughing until a few stares were directed her way and she remembered where they were.

“You think…”

“I know that you need therapy” he said the words firmly and with so much seriousness she knew he was clearly not joking.

Rinsing her hand right after popping the meat in her mouth, she wiped her hands clean and her face of the smile. “I don’t need therapy” she replied, “I will be fine in due time”

“I feel responsible for this Oyin. Please, let me make things right by doing the right thing”


“Please, Oyin. Please”

She sighed, she knew she could fight it if she wanted but it was a lost battle; the look in his eyes said it and so did the firmness with which he gripped her hand.

“Fine” she said

“Thank you” the relief in his voice was unmistakable.


From the moment he walked into the house, he knew there was something different. Or maybe not different, because different meant there was an usual form of activity or that things had changed. So maybe it was something coming, some sort of impending arrival of something.

Whatever it was, something was about to happen and as exhausted as he was from the day’s work, his senses became alert.

He threw his jacket on the couch closest to him and then, crossed the living room to the Kitchen. There she was, dressed in a short denim dress that showed off her slim long legs and that barely covered her butt making him wonder if the designer was confused as to what to make – a shirt or a dress.

“Hey” he said

“Hey” she replied with a smile, “I’m making something nice.” She said pointing to the chicken broth on the gas cooker with her wooden spoon.

She’d pretty much done a lot of shopping for the house since she refused to return to the UK and had given the kitchen a feminine touch.

“It does smell nice” he acknowledged, his feet rooted to a spot by the entrance.

He knew Vanessa and he knew her too well.

Something was definitely up.

“What’s up, Vanessa?” he asked because honestly, he wanted to cut to the chase. He had somewhere important to be and he did not have the patience for whatever it was she had cooking; literally and figuratively.

“I have news”

He wanted to tell her that she always had news. Maybe she never announced it to him but she did always have news.

“Come” pulling him along with her, she stepped out of the kitchen and headed for the bedroom.

Segun was impatient, Oyin was waiting for him somewhere at that particular moment and he dared not go late.

It had taken him a lot to convince her to see him that night and he missed her terribly, he missed his best friend and he just wanted things to return to normal between them.

Vanessa giggled softly, jolting him back to the present. She raised a pair of cute little sneakers up for him to see and he frowned in confusion.

Wetin dey do dis one?

Those were the only ones that came to his head as he looked from her hands to her face. She was grinning like someone just handed her millions of dollars.

“Vanessa, what’s all these?”

She pouted, “I thought you were going to understand, it is how couples announce their pregnancy news these days. It’s all over instagram…”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m pregnant, babe.”

What the fuck? She had to be kidding him.


Oyin emptied the champagne in the glass she was holding. It was her third glass of the night and she was weighing her options already – to head back to her house or still wait for Segun.

She grabbed her phone, her fingers following the debate of her mind by darting back and forth the phone log.

She was not sure what she wanted to do. However, she was sure she was mad at him.

She’d taken time out for this meeting; had left work early, actually gotten her facials done and had chosen one of her favorite dresses for the meeting.

It was becoming something regular for her to do on dates with Segun… she paused her thoughts, she just totally referred to this harmless meeting as a date with him.

It clearly was not a date and he clearly was never going to feel the things she felt for him for her. Fighting the urge to cry, she stood and grabbed her clutch.

At least, she was glad this was a friend’s Lounge where she could stay in a private place and not have to worry about other people casting glances her way.

So now as she made her way out of the Lounge to where her car was parked outside, she was grateful that all she had to take back home was a little hurt. No embarrassment and unwanted stares.

Her phone buzzed and she saw he had sent her a message via Whatsapp.

Can’t make tonight, Oyin. Vanessa’s pregnant.

She knew there was no way she was winning against the tears that had now gathered in her eyes. Scrolling through her phone, she dialed the only person that came to mind.

“Oyin, babe, is everything okay?” he asked when she did not say anything for seconds after he had picked.

“Nothing” she said and cleared her throat, “KP, are you at home?”


“Okay” she said and again, paused for a long time. “I’m on my way” she replied and then hung up.


So guys, who do you think is responsible for Vanessa’s pregnancy? Damn me if I know at this point :/